I found this picture today and I was totally surprised! This was me...11 days before Bennett was born. I can't believe how freaking big I was!! 
After looking at a friends weekly picture of her pregnancy...I have been trying to remember what it was like to be pregnant and this picture explains it well! I miss being pregnant though. It was such a magical (not the right word!) experience. I'm torn between the thought of having more children. I want a whole house full, but worry about expenses. Deep down, I know God will always provide for us, but there is still doubt. And then, the other day while Stanley was at a softball game, Bennett and I were in the floor in the living room. Music playing on the TV, hardly any lights on the house, and my favorite noise...laughter. I was singing, "Pop goes the weasel" to Bennett and we were both cracking up... I told Stanley when he got home, "I'm scared to have more children!" I will never have that one on one time with a second or third child. I don't know...it's not like we are thinking about a baby right now...there is just so much "baby" talk around me.
After looking at a friends weekly picture of her pregnancy...I have been trying to remember what it was like to be pregnant and this picture explains it well! I miss being pregnant though. It was such a magical (not the right word!) experience. I'm torn between the thought of having more children. I want a whole house full, but worry about expenses. Deep down, I know God will always provide for us, but there is still doubt. And then, the other day while Stanley was at a softball game, Bennett and I were in the floor in the living room. Music playing on the TV, hardly any lights on the house, and my favorite noise...laughter. I was singing, "Pop goes the weasel" to Bennett and we were both cracking up... I told Stanley when he got home, "I'm scared to have more children!" I will never have that one on one time with a second or third child. I don't know...it's not like we are thinking about a baby right now...there is just so much "baby" talk around me. Picture of the day! Bennett and momma...watching The Backyardiagns before bedtime.
Big difference from the picture at the beginning of the post.
4 comments:
Funny that you post about this, Amy and I talked about this subject today and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her.
Pray Hard to have a clear mind of what God wants you to do ... He will take care of timing, that's for sure!!
Enjoy Bennett today and tomorrow and the day after and so on until you find that God gave you another baby ... is just the way things are!! :0)
I totally understand your feeling of "I'll never have one on one time with my next baby" but you know what the next one may come when the 1st one is in school or something ... I mean what do we know, really??? We just know we love our babies so much we are not sure we can share that love with another one but it seems that at the end, everything makes sense. <3
Love reading you!!!
Oh Sarah, this has been heavy on my mind for the past couple of days. Gary and I were all ready to start trying for #2 in July...
But when I came to work on Monday, I got word from my dad that the company is really struggling. There's just no work and we have lots of overhead.
He can't keep throwing money into something and getting nothing in return. It's sad :( So, that pretty much put the brakes on another baby, for the moment - because finding another job would be hard enough... not to mention the fact that I'd be pregnant too... you know?
It's all really bummed me out, because I'm sooo ready for another one. There would already be 3 1/2 years between Wes and another. I know that if i got pregnant, we'd make it work, but I also feel like getting pregnant right now isn't a responsible choice. So... I'm waiting and praying...
Oh, and Insurance... if I lose my job, I lose my insurance. UGH!
How strange that all three of us are thinking of the same thing! God must be telling us something! :)
Amy-I pray that things work out with your job. It's so scary to think that you may loose your job and insurance!!!
Claudia-You always know how to comfort me! You have such a gift!
I love you girls! :)
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