I only work two days a week. That is enough for me. It gets me out of the house enough to where I don't go crazy, but still gives me enough time to feel like a full time mom to my great 6 month old kiddo, Bennett. I also have the "perfect" set-up. (Quotes are only b/c my mother in law keeps him instead of my mother...every woman feels a little different towards their mother in law compared to thier mother...I think.) My mother in law comes to my house those two days and keeps Bennett occupied. He has his own bed, all the pumped breastmilk he needs, and all his toys. I don't have to pack his things the night before I go to work to get ready to go to Nanny's house in the morning! It works...
But, here's the problem. My sister in law has a set of almost 3 year old twins. Love the kids, but, they are well, they are almost 3. :) My mother in law keeps them two days a week on alternating days that she keeps Bennett. My sister in law wants to work a little bit more and instead of working on Friday where my mother in law is free, she wants to work on Wednesdays, a day where Nanny keeps Bennett. This posses a problem for me. I don't totally agree with keeping two three year olds and a six month old together. Both ages require and deserve a lot of attention that I'm not sure my mother in law can provide for 8 or so hours.
So...here I am. Stuck with having to make the decision that will affect my family, my mother in law, and my sister in law's family. Pros and Cons listed below:
Pros:
1)Bennett will still have time to spend with his Nanny.
2)Bennett will have more time to bond with his cousins, who really do love him.
3)My sister in law will be able to make more money for her family.
Cons:
1)Both Bennett, Aiden, and Avari will have to "share" Nanny's time.
2)Nanny will be pooped by the end of the day...three kids can totally wipe you out.
3)The twins have had their Nanny to themselves for nearly three years, why must my son have to give away his bonding time?
4)The decision has to be made as to where Nanny will keep the rug rats...my house seems like the logical option, but I'm sure that will cause drama...
So...Recap...Being the "second" grandchild really sucks!
3 comments:
I can see both sides here. What a tough situation! What does "Nanny" have to say about it all? Does she think she can do all 3? This is something that I don't have to worry about right now. Wes is the only grandchild on both sides. Needless to say, he's spoiled rotten... since there are no other kids. I'm not too worried right now either, because I don't see Tim, Tracy or Daryl having kids before Wes is 20 :) But then again, you never know!!
I really understand how you feel but at the same time I'm sure your mother-in-law can handle them. She's raised kids herself ... 3 year olds are OK as long as you keep them occupied, Bennett will have so much fun having them around ... I KNOW IS NOT YOUR ONE-ON-ONE IDEAL but I truly believe the Pros outdo the Cons!
Think about what other options would you have
1) stop working?
2) taking him to daycare?
I know being the "second" grandchild sucks when is your own child ... Nicolas was the 5th grandchild so I felt the same way when he was born ... but time proved to me that it wasn't all that bad. He's the baby (the rotten one at this point) ... all his cousins love him. He feels great to have them ... instead of you being the first one, when the little ones come you feel like your share is getting smaller and smaller :)
It'll work out once your heart is ok with it, I promise!
There's no ideal when it comes to who's taking care of your baby, no one will do it the way you do, no one will know how to put his diaper exactly right ... I know, I've been there!
Pray hard girl!
Thanks Ladies...It really does help to hear different options and opinions.
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